The short answer
For your parent's money and property, nobody is automatically in charge. A court appoints someone, and your state's law sets who comes first.
The funeral follows its own rules. Any family member can make most of the first calls. To learn how and when the court's process starts, ask the probate court in the county where your parent lived.
This chapter explains how things usually work in the United States. It is not legal, tax or financial advice, and the rules where you live may differ. Before you act on anything here, check it with one of the people named at the end of the chapter.
What to do
- Write down who might have a say: anyone a will names, a surviving spouse if there is one, and your parent's children.
- Keep any will you find safe and unchanged.
- Make the first calls. They need no court.
- Note exactly what an office asked for when it wants proof of authority, and who asked.
- Ask the probate court in the county where your parent lived how its process starts.
What can wait
- Applying to the court, unless the court or a lawyer tells you something in your parent's case can't wait. Some states set an outer limit. In Minnesota, as an example, probate or a request to appoint a personal representative generally can't start more than three years after the death, with exceptions. Ask the probate court about your state's limits.
- Telling the credit bureaus, if there is no spouse to do it. That notice needs the appointment anyway.
- Forwarding the mail to your own address, if you live elsewhere. That needs the appointment too.
- Deciding who should serve. That conversation can happen after the funeral, with your state's rules in front of you.
Who can help
The probate court clerk in the county where your parent lived can explain how the court's process starts and what it asks for.
A probate lawyer can tell you where you stand under your state's law, and who comes first. If you are doing this alone or from far away, a lawyer can also explain what the role involves before anyone applies.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’, courts’ and organizations’ own pages in October 2026. Where a rule differs by state, the book names one state as an example. Check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 1: The First Month
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 5. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers the first month after the death.
Questions near this one
Other questions on related subjects, from this book and the others.
- One of us is in charge: what do the others have a right to know? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
- What about half-siblings and step-siblings? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
- What if I am estranged from a parent or sibling? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
- When is a mediator worth it? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
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