The short answer
Start with your parent's own papers and the places they kept things. Then ask their lawyer, if they had one, whether they hold a will. Ask the probate court in the county where your parent lived whether a will was filed there.
This month, a few other papers matter sooner than the will. They are any funeral wishes, a veteran's discharge papers, and the life insurance policies. You can look for those first and leave the rest in a box.
This chapter explains how things usually work in the United States. It is not legal, tax or financial advice, and the rules where you live may differ. Before you act on anything here, check it with one of the people named at the end of the chapter.
What to do
- Gather every paper you find into one box, and throw nothing away.
- Look for funeral wishes first, and ask the funeral home whether it holds a prepaid plan.
- Look for the DD214 or other discharge papers, if your parent served.
- Ask your parent's lawyer, if they had one, whether they hold a will.
- Ask the probate court in the county where your parent lived whether a will was filed.
- Search the NAIC Life Insurance Policy Locator once you have the death certificate.
What can wait
- Reading every paper. Gathering them is enough for now.
- Sorting the house room by room.
- Online accounts, email and passwords.
- Working out what a will means.
Who can help
Your parent's lawyer, accountant or financial adviser may know where the papers are. The probate court clerk in the county where your parent lived is the person to ask whether a will was filed.
For a prepaid plan, ask the funeral director. For the online locator, a librarian at your public library can sit with you.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’, courts’ and organizations’ own pages in October 2026. Where a rule differs by state, the book names one state as an example. Check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 1: The First Month
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 6. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers the first month after the death.
Questions near this one
Other questions on related subjects, from this book and the others.
- What do I do about the house, pets, car and mail right now? Book 1, The First Month
- One of us is in charge: what do the others have a right to know? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
- What if I am estranged from a parent or sibling? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
- When is a mediator worth it? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
Hear when The First Month is out
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