The short answer
It depends on the will, and on your parent's state if there is no will. Your parent's own children are all their children, whoever their other parent was.
Without a will, a surviving stepparent's share varies by state. Stepchildren are not on Arizona's list of heirs, for example, and whether a stepchild can ever inherit without a will varies by state. If someone promised it would all come back to you, ask a probate lawyer whether that promise counts.
This chapter explains how things usually work in the United States. It is not legal, tax or financial advice, and the rules where you live may differ. Before you act on anything here, check it with one of the people named at the end of the chapter.
What to do
- Ask the executor for a copy of the will, or confirm there is none. If nobody is in charge yet, ask the probate court in the county where your parent lived.
- Ask the executor which accounts went outside the will, and to whom.
- Ask a probate lawyer what your state gives a surviving spouse, and which state's rule applies.
- Contact your half-siblings or step-siblings directly, not only through the executor, if you want to.
- Write down any promise anyone remembers: what was said, when, and who heard it.
What can wait
- Deciding whether to keep in touch with the step-family. That can come after the estate, or much later.
- Raising an old promise with your stepparent. You can wait until you have seen the will and the list of accounts.
Who can help
A probate lawyer in the state where your parent lived can tell you who inherits there, and which state's rule applies.
A mediator can help when the two sides of the family stop talking. How mediation works is covered in When is a mediator worth it?
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’, courts’ and organizations’ own pages in October 2026. Where a rule differs by state, the book names one state as an example. Check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 5: Siblings and the Estate
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 8. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 1 to 18 after the death.
Questions near this one
Other questions on related subjects, from this book and the others.
- What if I am estranged from a parent or sibling? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
- Who is in charge if no one was named? Book 1, The First Month
- How do I pay for the funeral? Book 1, The First Month
- One of us is in charge: what do the others have a right to know? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
Hear when Siblings and the Estate is out
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