The short answer
Less than it seems. The few things that can't wait are in earlier chapters: the funeral, the pets and the house, and any Social Security payment that has to go back.
Some dates are real, but they are further off than people suggest. The house, the belongings, the accounts and the tax return can wait weeks or months.
This chapter explains how things usually work in the United States. It is not legal, tax or financial advice, and the rules where you live may differ. Before you act on anything here, check it with one of the people named at the end of the chapter.
What to do
- Write down every decision someone is pushing you on.
- Mark the ones with a real date, set by law or printed on a letter.
- Do the ones due soon, one a day, and write the later dates in your notebook.
- Answer the rest with not yet.
- Open the mail once a week, with someone if that helps.
- Look at the list again in a month.
What can wait
- Deciding about the house, the belongings and the clothes.
- Closing accounts, and selling or retitling the car.
- The ashes, the headstone and the thank-you notes.
Who can help
A friend outside the family can give you a second opinion when someone is pushing.
The funeral director can answer anything about the funeral. For a dated letter, call the office that sent it, on a number you already trust.
For the final tax return, a tax preparer or the IRS can answer. For the $255, Social Security can: 1-800-772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778).
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’, courts’ and organizations’ own pages in October 2026. Where a rule differs by state, the book names one state as an example. Check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 1: The First Month
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 13. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers the first month after the death.
Questions near this one
Other questions on related subjects, from this book and the others.
- What do I do about the house, pets, car and mail right now? Book 1, The First Month
- How do we divide belongings without a war? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
- Who do I call, and in what order? Book 1, The First Month
- Who tells Social Security and the other offices? Book 1, The First Month
Hear when The First Month is out
A short note when each book is out. Five or six emails a year at most. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.