The short answer
Taking a fee isn't wrong in itself. In the states checked for this book, the law allows one.
How much depends on the state. Some states say the pay must be "reasonable", and some set a percentage by law. Any fee you take is taxable income for you.
Whether to take it is a family question as much as a money one. Saying early what you plan to do can make the rest easier to talk about.
This chapter explains how things usually work in the United States. It is not legal, tax or financial advice, and the rules where you live may differ. Before you act on anything here, check it with one of the people named at the end of the chapter.
What to do
- Ask the probate court or a lawyer how fees work in your parent's state.
- Keep a log of your time and tasks, starting now.
- Tell the people who inherit, in writing, what the law allows and what you expect to do.
- Ask whether the court must approve a fee before you take it.
- Take any fee only in the way the court allows.
- Report any fee you take on your own tax return.
What can wait
- How much to take, until you know how much work the estate involves.
- Whether to give up all or part of it, if your state's timing allows. If a will sets your pay, ask about that before you start serving.
- Taking any fee, until you know whether the court must approve it.
Who can help
The probate court clerk can tell you how the court handles fees and which forms it uses. A probate lawyer can tell you what your state's law allows, in a single consultation if you ask for one.
A tax preparer can tell you how a fee, or a waiver, touches your own taxes.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’, courts’ and organizations’ own pages in October 2026. Where a rule differs by state, the book names one state as an example. Check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 2: Being in Charge
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 11. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 1 to 9 after the death.
Questions near this one
Other questions on related subjects, from this book and the others.
- Do I owe tax on what I inherit? Book 3, Their Money
- What happens to a 401(k) or IRA, and who pays tax on it? Book 3, Their Money
- What do I tell creditors, and am I responsible for the debts? Book 2, Being in Charge
- What if one of us cared for Mom or Dad for years? Book 5, Siblings and the Estate
Hear when Being in Charge is out
A short note when each book is out. Five or six emails a year at most. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.